Test Pattern

 Originally published 7/12/21

We weren’t the first of families to own a TV set.  They were novelties then and whenever relatives were together, if a TV was available, we would gather and watch.  There wasn’t much in the way of programming at the time.  Whatever the programming was it was in black and white and I don’t recall channel choices during the ‘50’s in Kansas. 

I do recall sitting on the floor in front of the TV before the Saturday broadcasting began staring at the test pattern that featured the Indian Chief and listening to that test tone.  My God, the anticipation of staring at that image while having that unwavering low fidelity tone blast through my head.  It was divine in such an unacceptable way by today’s standards.  In order to distract kids during the pre-programming test pattern period some crafty entrepreneur packaged up a clear vinyl film with a few crayons and sold them to frazzled Mom’s.  We had one.  The film was pressed onto the screen where we would “color” the test pattern.  The crayon could be wiped off of the vinyl with toilet paper so every day the Indian chief could be a different color.  Of course, you couldn’t get too imaginative because there were only 5 color crayons. 

 

Once the test pattern had served its duty and Saturday broadcasting began it started with the “Buster Brown Show”.  Who could resist Andy Devine, Squeaky the Mouse, Midnight the Cat that Plays the Violin and Froggy (“Pluck your magic twanger Froggy”).  Then came “Gerald McBoing-Boing” followed by “Big John and Sparky”.  In retrospect, Big John and Sparky were a couple of pretty disturbing characters.  Just sayin’.  

Not to be forgotten in the morning lineup but a show that I gave a hard pass to was “The Howdy Doody Show”.  There were definite problems there.  Buffalo Bob, Howdy and Clarabell were the trifecta of nightmares.  I doubt that clowns and puppets were given a second thought relative to fear in our collective conscience before that trio was foisted on us and to give Howdy the last name synonymous with poop?  Think about it.  And Buffalo Bob?……….The horror show straight man if ever there was one.

Color TV could have been a myth for all I knew because I never saw one.  Like everyone else I knew that if such a thing really existed it had to have been grand and very rare.  My uncle, J. N. Stringer, bought a device that was said to turn a black and white set into a color set.  That sounded amazing to me and I looked forward to our next visit to Mullinville so that I could see it in action.  

The reality of that “device” was utterly disappointing because it was just another vinyl cling that had three color bands across it.  Blue at the top, green at the bottom and orange-ish across the middle.  I guess the thought was that green was grass, blue was sky and orange was everything else?  Whatever, after such anticipation I was crushed and somebody had to pay.  I went outside to find an anthill in order to punish its inhabitants by burning them to death with my “Rin Tin Tin Wonda Scope”.

Typical with TV viewing at family get-togethers you would find us watching the one black and white show on the one channel available.  Whatever show it was, the whole TV-thing was novel enough that we would watch it unless clowns, puppets or weirdos wearing cowboy shirts were involved.  The programming was not always entertaining to all.

None of us can remember what we were watching when this photo was taken but one of my sisters suggests that we were watching the test pattern.  That could be and if that is the case then Ginger was easily entertained.  I suggest, however, that you look to my Aunt Ovie and Uncle Bus in the upper right.  Note that they aren’t watching the TV but looking at us kids as though wondering which one of us had cut the cheese.  If that was the case then who would you guess was the guilty party?