The Almost Famous Collection

Leslie Conway Bangs

Courtesy of San Diego Reader 

If you read rock journalism during the ‘70’s you were probably equal-parts delighted, astounded and repulsed by the writings of Lester Bangs.  His opinionated demeanor was established as a child when his Mother pushed him to become a Jehovah’s Witness and bolstered by his successful campaign to refuse to dress for PE class.  Being much smarter than the average bear and a pushy bastard to boot he was described by some as America’s Greatest Rock Critic while others considered him a drunken buffoon.  The man spoke his own truth no matter how badly it hurt to read and though he spoke his truths of others he kept his insecurities and self-truths to himself. 

In the 2000 movie, “Almost Famous”, Cameron Crowe gives his own semi-autobiographical account of his life as an aspiring 15 year old rock journalist on assignment for Rolling Stone Magazine and we are introduced to Lester who is masterfully played by Philip Seymour Hoffman.  As Lester mentors young William (Cameron) he breaks character and shares some of his insecurities when he says:

“We are uncool and though uncool people don’t tend to get the girl, being uncool can help you develop a little spine.  It’s too easy out there for the handsome and the hip. —Their work almost never lasts.  The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you are uncool.”

Those words rang out to me and I realized that many of my stories share self-deprecating accounts of my own uncoolness or attempts to cast my truths in a more favorable light making me, in the words of Lester Bangs, a very wealthy man.  With that said, I welcome you to explore this collection of short (and some not-so-short) vignettes which I have called the Almost Famous Collection. 

Go ahead and click on the “Almost Famous” tab above.  I have lots of material to add.  

 

Red Letter Day

Gotta say that yesterday was a red-letter day for this local history nerd. 

I have been searching for an affordable copy of “Pig-Tail Days in Old Seattle” by Sofie Frye Bass for years.  Typically, decent 3^rd edition copies go for over $100 with 1^st edition copies in good condition between $250 and $350.  All out of my price range.  So, when I saw a copy for $40 I figured that it must be a beater.  That is the cheapest I had ever seen this book so hoping for the best but expecting the worst I ordered it,  

The description read “A nice hardcover with a missing dust jacket, a tight binding and an unmarked text.  1937 Former owner’s inscription.  From a private smoke free collection”. 

Yeah, well, we’ll see what $40 buys me.  I can only check this out of the library so many times, you know, and I really need it in my local history collection.

So, when it showed up a week before expected I was pleased and tentatively opened the package hoping that I wouldn’t be too disappointed.  To my surprise the book was in near-perfect condition sans the dust cover.  Clean with a nice tight binding.  

Opening the cover I saw that the appraiser had mistaken the author's signature for the "Former owner" as it read Sophie Frye Bass.

The Last of the Portage Bay Log Booms

Written May 14, 2022 

Sofie Sarah Frye Bass was born in 1867 and was witness to much of Seattle’s earliest days.  Since she was a granddaughter of Seattle Founder, Arthur Denny, she was well connected, knew everyone in town worth knowing and probably was all up in everybody’s business.  By recording her observations, she brought to us some of the most revealing yet brief vignettes of life in early Seattle.  Her descriptions of growing up in the places we grew up in and where we walk today sometimes tell of great change and other times paint pictures of folks doing the same things that we did at the same places. 

In her book “When Seattle Was a Village” she talks about picnicking at the log canal at The Portage.  She says…….”Logs were then run through this channel.  We liked to picnic at the canal and watch logs float into the booms at Portage Bay, and when no one was looking, we ran and played tag on the logs”.  

1895 – MOHAI – Sophie and Her Sisters

Boxers (not Briefs)

 

Wichita 1955

Boxers (not Briefs), shorts, tee shirt, bare feet and dirty hands..........Damn!..........there is just no denying your destiny

Snow White and Big Head Discuss Smoke, Covid-19 and Parasitic Diarrheal Disease

 Big Head:

“What a day.  The smoke is so bad here.  I’ve never seen it so bad!  It’s our anniversary today and we were headed to the coast for a hike but saw the Cliff Mass Blog and he said “Don’t bother”.  How are you holding up with this all this covid and smoke?  Protests and crazy stuff going on in many places.  Waiting to hear some new protest songs!!  Where are they?”

 

Snow White:

“Yeah.  The smoke is worse than yesterday here.  Fires. Plague. Darkness.  If I hear that Lake Washington has turned to blood I’ll be fixin’ to see Frogs and Locusts next.

 

Big Head:

“I seen a giant gerbil chasing a Sasquatch.. They was goin’ north”.

 

Snow White:

“I know and there’s Giardias everywhere.  I seen them, too”.

 

Big Head:

“What does giardia poop look like?  Watery, sometimes foul-smelling diarrhea that may alternate with soft, greasy stools?  Fatigue or malaise?  Abdominal cramps and bloating?  Gas or flatulence.  Do you track the Giardia’s by following their poop?  With Sasquatch I just follow the footprints

 

Snow White:

“Wow!  Ya know I been waitin’ forever hoping that someone would be smart enough to ask me that. 

So, the deal is there are some things that you need to know about Giardias if you ever hope to see one for yourself.  As you know, their existence is not universally accepted and nothing but a radical-left conspiracy as far as Qanon is concerned.  Seeing one, or a herd of them, is not nearly as common as trippin’ over a Sasquatch turd in the Arboretum or even up in The Ravine.  I mean a turd so large that you trip over it is hard to deny.  But Giardias, well, they are a whole ‘nuther thing.

To start with, and I’m tellin’ you this now in the strictest confidence, their shit is bioluminescent which makes you think that “Hey, spotting glowing shit is easy”, right?  At least that’s what I said but it isn’t easy at all.  No, and it’s also really dangerous to expose yourself to them so seeing them for yourself can come at a price.

The deal is they are really fucking teensy, right?  So, a single glowing teensy turd doesn’t really jump out at you.  Ya see, you can’t really see just one Giardia turd so in order to see them at all you have to find a whole herd of them.  Only when you are in a huge group of them will there be enough glowing shit that you know that you are in their midst and when you are surrounded by them they attack you and bite your gentiles.  I shit you not.  I seen them and undergone their attacks so I know.

The first time I seen ‘em I was with some friends in the forest smoking some Thai stick.  After many lungfuls of smoke I saw that I was in a cloud of teensy bioluminescent shit.  When they attacked me, they knocked me onto my back but The Force was strong with me and I quickly jumped to my feet.  My friends were all laughing at me so I knew that they had not seen the shit and therefore were unaware that I had been attacked.

I thought that maybe seeing ‘em was my gift or something, sort of like you and your ability to see dead people, but the next day my crouch was itching like crazy and I decided it was gift I didn’t want.  The itching was driving me crazy so I went to the doctor and told him that I had been attacked by a herd of Giardias.  He said, “Giardias huh”? Then he told me to go to the drugstore and buy a bottle of something called RID, which I did.  I followed the instructions which made no mention of Giardias.  It did come with a teensy comb which not only helped remove the Giardias but provided a great styling tool for pubic hair.

The second time I seen ‘em was at Volunteer Park.  I was with some friends and we had dropped acid.  Pretty soon I started seeing that I was surrounded by colorful geometric crystals floating around.  This time I wasn’t the only one who saw them, though.  We all seen bioluminescent stuff but didn’t realize that it was Giardias.  They are sneaky fuckers, I tell you, and because we all saw ‘em it didn’t cross my mind that we were under attack.

A few days later it started burning when I pissed and I got suspicious.  When I pissed that golf ball, I put 2 and 2 together and realized that those fuckers had gotten me again.  I went back to the same doctor and told him that it was another Giardias attack but he said that it was something else called Gondolarrias or Gorgonzola or something like that.  He gave me a shot to get rid of it.

So yeah, I seen ‘em and I hope to never see ‘em again.  I would rather be abducted by aliens and have them stick that needle in my belly button again then undergo another attack on my gentiles by rampaging Giardias.  They are a total fucked story.

The One

 

A time of change in a young life where an established place had been found but no longer fit. 

Now, on the bottom rung, looking up, who do I trust? 

Looking for a face that is slightly less afraid than my own

Or one that will accept me as you I am, fears and all.  

Hoping for an open door it seemed like forever.

But it was just a blink of an eye in the arc of a life before that face found me.

In Spanish class where there were two “Juans” so I was called, “Eduardo”.

There was only one “Mel-veen”.

The door cracked open and we became Mel-veen and Eduardo.

I was safe.

Time moved on. 

We grew. 

Friends came and went. 

Some disappointed.  

A precious few stood the test of time and remained to prop us up when we faltered.

The few become fewer.

And then there was only one.

The one that I wished I was more like.

 The door remained wide open

The brilliant sun shone in

Ideas and experiences were shared

Some not-such-good ideas but always something learned

And always there was trust

With “The One” who was always there.

“The One” who would always tell me the truth about myself

Especially when I needed it the most but didn’t want to handle the truth.

“The One” who encouraged me to seek and find my own direction

Nudging, leaving breadcrumbs, but was sometimes forced to resort to a 2 x 4 across the head to gain my attention and make me listen

“The One” who also shared his concerns and fears and looked to me for ideas when I  felt unworthy.

And then one day the call came.

The door was closed.

What had I missed?

Where to from here?

Shirts and Skins

 

Behold the Montlake Pennant.  I bought this at one of the last Montlake Carnival I attended (1962 or ’63?) but lost the staff that came with it.  The staff was simple wooden dowel with a dark green ball on top.  Note the school colors of Hunter Green and Grey. 

The word pennant or pennon came from the Latin word penna meaning “feather” or “wing”.  It originated in the Middle Ages when they were carried on the lances of warriors.  Various colors were used to denote who’s side a warrior was fighting for and that concept has carried over to this day as seen on sport team’s uniforms.  Makes it hard to confuse a Cincinnati Bengal for a Los Angeles Ram or a Flying A from a Longacre Colt.  

n.d. - Stategikon

At Montlake in the early ‘60’s our basketball team had no Hunter Green and Grey uniforms.  Heck, we had no uniform of any color and our league schedule pitted us against just two rivals, Bryant and Stevens Schools.  They also were without uniforms.  

n.d. - Craig Daily Press

 But, we didn’t need no stinking uniforms because we had Shirts and Skins!

You'll Like Tacoma

 Originally published 12/9/2020

Credit - Clayton Kauslaric

The Klondike Gold Rush of 1897 offered Seattle a unique opportunity for growth and visibility on the World stage.  Folks heading north to make their fortune in the Alaskan goldfields bought their supplies and boarded ships in downtown Seattle which had eight years prior been totally reduced to ashes by the Great Fire of 1889.  Successful prospectors returning by ship disembarked at those same docks and left much of their new wealth with local businesses.  

Twelve years later, in 1909, Seattle hosted Washington’s first World’s Fair in order to promote growth by highlighting the connections between the city and local resources, riches to the north and the entire Pacific Rim.  It was called the Alaska, Yukon, Pacific Exposition or AYPE.  The event ran from June 1^st through October 15^th. 

During that 4 ½ month period special events were staged to draw fair-goers from far and wide, in part, by highlighting other cities and states.  On “Kansas Day,” Kansans were issued sunflower badges and treated to a giant picnic.  “Oregon Day” featured a performance by the “Portland Festival Chorus” a promenade and a dance.  On “Bellingham Day” souvenir postcards, fresh Whatcom County cherries and sample bags of rich soil the cherries had grown in were given out.

Father's Day - 2022

 

It’s Father’s Day and if my Dad was still around he would be 109…….but that didn’t happen.  As it is he has been gone for quite some time.  In the photo he is the skinny guy on the left making the anvil ring and learning the family blacksmithing trade from his father, Wallace, who is standing proud, front and center.  

I never knew my Grampa Wallace or Carl Goff and Ed St. Germain, Ford County Kansas locals who are standing in the back.  Hard workers, all and decent men.  If I could talk to them, I would thank them for being part of the village that raised my Dad and for making him the man that he was.  

If I could talk to my Dad again, well that conversation could go on forever because he was so bright and inquisitive, willing to talk to anyone about anything, had a lot to say and was full of brilliant solutions.  My friends liked to come over to hang out and spend time talking to him.  I mean…….Who can say that about their Dads?  He and I have a lot to catch up on.  

For now, I will just say: “Daddy, thanks for being the Father that you were and making me who I am today.  And that hammer of yours in the photo?  I still have it, still use it and think about you every time I make an anvil ring.

Happy Father's Day.

Skills Development

 

Life is a process of observation, exploration, recognition of risks and development of skills.

Choosing to avoid undesirable risks and developing skills to manage those deemed worthwhile.

Discarding what doesn’t work and refining what does.